Why is Christmas abbreviated to Xmas? I don't like it, Irrelevant information, but a good indication of where this blog is going. There are a lot of things I dislike about "Xmas". In no particular order; Turkey, "Only fools and horses", Christmas number ones, the word "crimbo", stilted conversation with people you haven't seen for a year, and last, but not least, Christmas shopping!
Before I start berating what should be a joyous seasonal activity, allow me to slip in the things I love. I love how "Home alone" is always on TV, I love Christmas stockings (and the allure of a hidden satsuma) and watching people don paper crowns and tell crap jokes as if it is normal.
Phew, got the love out of my system, let the rant commence... where was I? oh, yes - Xmas shopping sucks. Why do I always leave it until the last minute? why do I never dress appropriately and end up sweating and then freezing my way through a dreary day? and why can I never remember what anyone wants/likes/needs? "of course Dad wants more socks. He likes socks. Everyone needs socks." If you have to rationalise it, you have bought the wrong gift.
I am incredibly indecisive by nature. This is not a helpful attribute when it comes to mission-shopping. Yes its a mission - a full-blown operation to purchase as many things as you can. I spend hours wondering the aisles of HMV, becoming ensconced in the box-set section. Towers of DVDs coax me into pretending my brother loves "friends" ( he doesn't but oh how fickle my memory can be.) I limp aimlessly around beauty counter, choking on perfume, allowing war-painted Ladies to poison my arm with their scented sprays. I escape department stores smelling like a chemically confused version of my mother.
What would be great is if a learned from my mistakes and made the effort to forward plan, but hey its too late now. Merry Christmas , and everybody a happy new bag - I mean year!
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